I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize