I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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