A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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