Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize