Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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