So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
