My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
