do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
