You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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