Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize