My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
