Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
