Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
