I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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