I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
