Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
