I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize