don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
