i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
