My nipple is on Facebook.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
So squirting runs in the family.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
