I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
