wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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