It's like God shit irony all over that family
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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