can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
