"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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