My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
