Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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