She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
