Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
