i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
