The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
