another moral hangover. fuck.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
