Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
