I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
