Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
