I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
