She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize