so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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