so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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