I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize