I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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