Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
