These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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