wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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