lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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