I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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