I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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