Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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