The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
