Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
