Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
