you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
