There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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