So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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