The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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