I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
