And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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