its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
