you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I am available for nakedness
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
