I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
