I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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