THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
