spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
