Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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