The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
