i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
