Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
