$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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