Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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