CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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