He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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