We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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