Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just got carded by a ten year old.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
