Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize