Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
