kristin has been a bad kristin
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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