Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
