apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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