What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
